23 March 2005 to 1 March 2005
¶ The Present Tense of Away · 23 March 2005 fiction/poem
[Mercury]
One will learn to hate the sideways the squares of there fold
as if the wind is waiting upstairs until
the last edge of the paint evades us
one will buy hats to hide in this town
and never admit to arrive
in a stand of torn screens and autumn warding
and will the certain fields to know why to come
and flatten with compass pull
and one makes morals of lines
to wrap like fleeing hearths around you
[Theresa]
but lift now from paper and walk the near edge of the world
under the creased thirst of wept awnings and their older names
one steps from galleries of sawdust and caramel into uncharted air
paint how along each lane there has beckoned you
and laden one's undoing with cougars inscribed on rockets
and how one and there are in a mural of banished distance
wearing enmities and flour and weariness and salt
and resting brightly on the place where knowing alights
there is a present tense of away that never falls on canvas maps
and only one and there are lulling it to see
and the way these streets brush into leaves and foyers
is the way there is shading into you
and how far can it be if you can walk there
[White Oak]
and then one has memorized boards enough and tendered excuses
that the year comes through the chair rungs and into our house
and we have made welcoming angles of our tables and ourselves
each truce of there is a spark of lengthening cords
set into one in the sillworn history of crowded dreams
one has painted the weight of these doors apart and then together
trusted the empty roads to remember why you've come
and imparted you with gravity's flair
and one makes bedrooms of signs
to have swayed like earths below you
and one day there carried them.
As I must assume you are already well aware, this story, or at least this draft, hardly qualifies as a mystery at all. Two things happen that might or might not have been the result of crimes, but the explanation for one materializes without any energy having been spent looking for it, and the other is rendered decisively moot at a point where there still seem to be several possibilities. Even curiosity is not invested in any single character for very long, so a reader with the hypothetical determination to try to interpolate a puzzle will do it without a consistent proxy within the story, which is usually even less satisfying than it sounds. I am often limited in the amount of procedural guidance I am able to offer within the field, anyway, and in this case my expertise is largely immaterial.
But this is not your characters' fault, admittedly, and so perhaps should neither be yours. If the internal and collective dynamics among a set of people are sufficiently compelling and perhaps occasionally shocking, it is possible for the reader to have a sense of purpose where the narrative itself does not. If you opt to develop this project further, I have a few stray thoughts that may or may not be helpful, and may well be partially contradictory, so take them as you may.
- Although it quickly becomes clear that your meticulous timeline is not a resolution device, it helps give the scene-structure something of an observant photographer's patient isolation of moments.
- By shifting your narrative origin backwards in time, you could straightforwardly bring most of the flashbacks into the present, which I'm inclined to recommend. Admittedly this forces much of the now-present into the future tense, a technical flourish of which you're more than capable but maybe less than wise.
- Combining your two major sets of characters might, in one time-consuming but ultimately tractable step, enrich their composite personality complexities. It would also eliminate the results of their deferred meeting, leaving your ending awkwardly unmotivated, but arguably it merely leaves the motivationlessness of the ending more directly exposed.
- Your imposition of a moral climate is well organized, but remember that entropy is not exactly the same thing as amorality.
- Serializing uncertainties sometimes allows them to unexplain and then complete each other, which can provide context for any number of dissatisfactions.
- Some of our conversations, which in general I think you have fairly rendered here, may to modern readers be less interesting than the implied exchanges before and/or after them. Remember that syntheses translate less readily than theses.
- I suggest that your own emotional loyalty undergoes two minor shifts and two major ones, and even if you disagree it might be a worthwhile exercise to identify the inflection points I mean.
- Anywhere you find yourself paraphrasing history, see if you can't think of a way in which the context can be embedded into the responses themselves. I don't mean to obtusely surface your background into dialog, I mean to calculate the projection of the history onto the individual, and then let the silhouette represent the occlusion.
- Ask your sister about method. Debating this between ourselves is only going to compound our ignorance. It may be more productive to pose the question in reverse.
That's all I want to say for now. I have my usual reluctance to navigate when I'm being asked to steer. If I recall correctly, this Tuesday is your turn to choose a water and a Line.
But this is not your characters' fault, admittedly, and so perhaps should neither be yours. If the internal and collective dynamics among a set of people are sufficiently compelling and perhaps occasionally shocking, it is possible for the reader to have a sense of purpose where the narrative itself does not. If you opt to develop this project further, I have a few stray thoughts that may or may not be helpful, and may well be partially contradictory, so take them as you may.
- Although it quickly becomes clear that your meticulous timeline is not a resolution device, it helps give the scene-structure something of an observant photographer's patient isolation of moments.
- By shifting your narrative origin backwards in time, you could straightforwardly bring most of the flashbacks into the present, which I'm inclined to recommend. Admittedly this forces much of the now-present into the future tense, a technical flourish of which you're more than capable but maybe less than wise.
- Combining your two major sets of characters might, in one time-consuming but ultimately tractable step, enrich their composite personality complexities. It would also eliminate the results of their deferred meeting, leaving your ending awkwardly unmotivated, but arguably it merely leaves the motivationlessness of the ending more directly exposed.
- Your imposition of a moral climate is well organized, but remember that entropy is not exactly the same thing as amorality.
- Serializing uncertainties sometimes allows them to unexplain and then complete each other, which can provide context for any number of dissatisfactions.
- Some of our conversations, which in general I think you have fairly rendered here, may to modern readers be less interesting than the implied exchanges before and/or after them. Remember that syntheses translate less readily than theses.
- I suggest that your own emotional loyalty undergoes two minor shifts and two major ones, and even if you disagree it might be a worthwhile exercise to identify the inflection points I mean.
- Anywhere you find yourself paraphrasing history, see if you can't think of a way in which the context can be embedded into the responses themselves. I don't mean to obtusely surface your background into dialog, I mean to calculate the projection of the history onto the individual, and then let the silhouette represent the occlusion.
- Ask your sister about method. Debating this between ourselves is only going to compound our ignorance. It may be more productive to pose the question in reverse.
That's all I want to say for now. I have my usual reluctance to navigate when I'm being asked to steer. If I recall correctly, this Tuesday is your turn to choose a water and a Line.
Manic Street Preachers: Montana/Autumn/78 (2.3M mp3)
I spent a while this afternoon loading my entire Manic Street Preachers collection and then sorting out duplicates and cleaning up the metadata. This is a dull and obsessive task, but it seems a lot more heroic when done with this song on repeat. Maybe the second-greatest b-side of all time. 1998, from CD1 of the two-single set for "If You Tolerate This Your Children Will Be Next".
I spent a while this afternoon loading my entire Manic Street Preachers collection and then sorting out duplicates and cleaning up the metadata. This is a dull and obsessive task, but it seems a lot more heroic when done with this song on repeat. Maybe the second-greatest b-side of all time. 1998, from CD1 of the two-single set for "If You Tolerate This Your Children Will Be Next".
Recent additions elsewhere on this site:
- an Apple Mail rule script
- an unplanned music review
- and a completely useless index of TWAS issues by title
- an Apple Mail rule script
- an unplanned music review
- and a completely useless index of TWAS issues by title
0. We do not act. There is nothing.
1. Or we act, but that is all. There is the fact of the thing that we do, and nothing more. No attention, to intent, no content, no life.
2. When we are better, we try to act well. There is the fact of the thing that we do, and then there is the way in which we do it. There is attention, at least, but the lack of inattention is not enough. Attention is not purpose, not message, not inspiration.
3. When we are better still, we act for a reason. There is what we do, and how we do it, and why. There is something we hope to accomplish, and a method in which we think it can be done, and then the things we do to see if we are right. But the lack of purposelessness is not enough, either. Purpose is not content, not spirit.
4. When we are nearly ourselves, our actions are also ideas. We act not only in service of a particular goal, but of a story in which our purposes are explained. Our actions describe a way in which the world might be different. That is almost enough.
5. And when we are completely ourselves, what we do originates from a spark inside of us. The story is the expression of a divinity, and the purpose serves a story we not only write but believe, and our diligence is thus spiritual instead of mechanical, and our actions are worthy of our moments and our breath.
5. Every fully human action begins in Anima. Every action, from the epic to the occupational, should be founded in the immanence of self. Morality is the steadfast refusal to allow ourselves to inhabit only part of our nature. Whatever you do, do it as if you are you, as if you will be accountable to yourself for every moment of this life, forever.
4. Art is the expression of Anima. Everything you do should express something you believe. There is no empty action, there are only the actions that tell the stories we mean, and the actions that tell stories we didn't consider. Consider your stories.
3. Design is the method of Art, of how we span the difference between the world without our Art and the world that is touched by it. We must understand the context into which we act, and know how we hope to change it. This is neither abstract nor optional, and is part of the conception, not the implementation. Understand before you plan, and plan before you act.
2. Craft is the unfolding of Design. We carry ourselves into stories and plans, and then into work that is ennobled by us, and ennobles us. We act to change the world, and the world is important and deserves our care. These are the words of the story we hope to tell about how we could be. Let your smallest details evoke the grandest revelation.
1. Production is the translation of Craft into patience. In the end, there is always what is done. There is waiting, and repetition, and correction, and walking across rooms and writing down numbers, and starting over. Know what your work requires, and refuse to resent it.
0. And here is the most critical and pressing permanent truth of the appearance of good and evil in daily human effort: It is impossible to assemble this moral structure of action in reverse. You cannot, no matter how sorely and casually and frequently you are tempted, start with Production. It is pointless to demand that unmotivated actions be informed by Craft, inane to attempt to interpolate Design into unsolicited diligence, idiotic to hope to derive Art from undirected intents, and profoundly offensive to try to stipulate something in which to believe. Every fully human action begins in Anima, and evolves in these irreducible stages. Not only is there no shorter way, there is no other way at all. To act otherwise is destruction. To act otherwise is to consume moments and breath and return inevitably to nothing, bringing the world with you.
1. Or we act, but that is all. There is the fact of the thing that we do, and nothing more. No attention, to intent, no content, no life.
2. When we are better, we try to act well. There is the fact of the thing that we do, and then there is the way in which we do it. There is attention, at least, but the lack of inattention is not enough. Attention is not purpose, not message, not inspiration.
3. When we are better still, we act for a reason. There is what we do, and how we do it, and why. There is something we hope to accomplish, and a method in which we think it can be done, and then the things we do to see if we are right. But the lack of purposelessness is not enough, either. Purpose is not content, not spirit.
4. When we are nearly ourselves, our actions are also ideas. We act not only in service of a particular goal, but of a story in which our purposes are explained. Our actions describe a way in which the world might be different. That is almost enough.
5. And when we are completely ourselves, what we do originates from a spark inside of us. The story is the expression of a divinity, and the purpose serves a story we not only write but believe, and our diligence is thus spiritual instead of mechanical, and our actions are worthy of our moments and our breath.
5. Every fully human action begins in Anima. Every action, from the epic to the occupational, should be founded in the immanence of self. Morality is the steadfast refusal to allow ourselves to inhabit only part of our nature. Whatever you do, do it as if you are you, as if you will be accountable to yourself for every moment of this life, forever.
4. Art is the expression of Anima. Everything you do should express something you believe. There is no empty action, there are only the actions that tell the stories we mean, and the actions that tell stories we didn't consider. Consider your stories.
3. Design is the method of Art, of how we span the difference between the world without our Art and the world that is touched by it. We must understand the context into which we act, and know how we hope to change it. This is neither abstract nor optional, and is part of the conception, not the implementation. Understand before you plan, and plan before you act.
2. Craft is the unfolding of Design. We carry ourselves into stories and plans, and then into work that is ennobled by us, and ennobles us. We act to change the world, and the world is important and deserves our care. These are the words of the story we hope to tell about how we could be. Let your smallest details evoke the grandest revelation.
1. Production is the translation of Craft into patience. In the end, there is always what is done. There is waiting, and repetition, and correction, and walking across rooms and writing down numbers, and starting over. Know what your work requires, and refuse to resent it.
0. And here is the most critical and pressing permanent truth of the appearance of good and evil in daily human effort: It is impossible to assemble this moral structure of action in reverse. You cannot, no matter how sorely and casually and frequently you are tempted, start with Production. It is pointless to demand that unmotivated actions be informed by Craft, inane to attempt to interpolate Design into unsolicited diligence, idiotic to hope to derive Art from undirected intents, and profoundly offensive to try to stipulate something in which to believe. Every fully human action begins in Anima, and evolves in these irreducible stages. Not only is there no shorter way, there is no other way at all. To act otherwise is destruction. To act otherwise is to consume moments and breath and return inevitably to nothing, bringing the world with you.
¶ the last ten hours · 9 March 2005
Just because I can, here's the last ten hours of music iTunes has played me.
| # | Artist | Song | Time |
| 1 | Garnet Crow | 忘れ咲き | 4:58 |
| 2 | スピッツ | ほのほ | 4:18 |
| 3 | Feel So Bad | KALLO-KALLO-KALLO | 3:39 |
| 4 | Trans Am | Outmoder | 3:42 |
| 5 | Miller, Scott | Fairest of the Seasons | 3:38 |
| 6 | Zeppet Store | エヴリィ | 4:36 |
| 7 | Darling, Julia | Blue | 4:03 |
| 8 | Feel So Bad | 今日はクリスマス | 3:20 |
| 9 | Breeders | Cannonball | 3:33 |
| 10 | Stretch Princess | Angels | 5:00 |
| 11 | Whitley, Chris | Cool Wooden Crosses | 2:44 |
| 12 | Amos, Tori | Concertina | 3:56 |
| 13 | Amos, Tori | Lust | 3:53 |
| 14 | Feel So Bad | ENDORPHINE | 4:00 |
| 15 | My Bloody Valentine | Nothing Much To Lose | 3:17 |
| 16 | Production Club | Man on the Scene (feat. the Incredible Moses Leroy) | 3:30 |
| 17 | Runrig | Day Of Days | 3:37 |
| 18 | Fake? | Drip | 4:56 |
| 19 | Feel So Bad | 愛しているのに | 3:42 |
| 20 | HIM | Love You Like I Do | 5:14 |
| 21 | Siam Shade | 1/3 の純情な感情 | 3:44 |
| 22 | Suran Song in Stag | No Don't Stop | 3:52 |
| 23 | Siam Shade | アドレナリン | 4:28 |
| 24 | Amos, Tori | Cloud on My Tongue | 4:43 |
| 25 | Field Mice | Clearer | 3:54 |
| 26 | Fredriksson, Marie | Vidare igen | 3:28 |
| 27 | Moore, Abra | I Win | 4:22 |
| 28 | Garnet Crow | 夕月夜 | 4:15 |
| 29 | Sarge | Stall (Live) | 3:26 |
| 30 | New Pornographers | Chump Change | 4:18 |
| 31 | Amos, Tori | Cruel | 4:07 |
| 32 | Utada Hikaru | Animato | 4:31 |
| 33 | Fiona | In My Blood | 4:09 |
| 34 | Gackt | Lust for blood | 5:11 |
| 35 | Feel So Bad | グレチャウゾ | 4:56 |
| 36 | Radiohead | A Wolf At The Door -It Girl, Rag Doll- | 3:21 |
| 37 | HIM | Rebel Yell (Live) | 5:13 |
| 38 | 元ちとせ | 凛とする -strings version- | 4:51 |
| 39 | Glay | アイ | 3:56 |
| 40 | Do As Infinity | 菜ノ花畑 | 3:36 |
| 41 | Feel So Bad | 今夜はおしゃれをして | 3:59 |
| 42 | BUMP OF CHICKEN | 夢の飼い主 | 4:49 |
| 43 | Douglas Fir | At the Hotel | 2:59 |
| 44 | Leo, Ted / Pharmacists | The One Who Got Us Out | 3:04 |
| 45 | Low | I Started A Joke | 4:28 |
| 46 | Twigs | Slumber | 2:44 |
| 47 | Feel So Bad | Deeper | 2:42 |
| 48 | Feel So Bad | オーブントースター | 3:17 |
| 49 | 矢井田瞳 | 明日からの手紙 | 4:50 |
| 50 | Frames | Sickbeds | 4:12 |
| 51 | Corrs | Summer Sunshine | 2:53 |
| 52 | pillows | Plastic Flower | 4:11 |
| 53 | Big Country | Perfect World | 3:16 |
| 54 | brilliant green | Wishing You | 3:02 |
| 55 | Supercar | Love Forever | 4:11 |
| 56 | Ladysmith Black Mambazo | Wangibambezela | 4:59 |
| 57 | Martin, Charlotte | Parade On | 4:15 |
| 58 | HIM | In Joy And Sorrow | 3:35 |
| 59 | Siam Shade | Love Vampire | 4:39 |
| 60 | Sarge | Detroit Star-Lite | 3:33 |
| 61 | Feel So Bad | 今日は今日、気ままに | 3:00 |
| 62 | Mandalay | You Forget | 5:04 |
| 63 | Sarge | Dear Josie, Love Robyn | 3:01 |
| 64 | Primitons | City People | 3:32 |
| 65 | Amos, Tori | Parasol | 3:54 |
| 66 | Amos, Tori | Sweet The Sting | 4:16 |
| 67 | Amos, Tori | The Power of Orange Knickers | 3:36 |
| 68 | Amos, Tori | Jamaica Inn | 4:03 |
| 69 | Amos, Tori | Barons of Suburbia | 5:21 |
| 70 | Amos, Tori | Sleeps with Butterflies | 3:36 |
| 71 | Amos, Tori | General Joy | 4:13 |
| 72 | Amos, Tori | Mother Revolution | 3:58 |
| 73 | Amos, Tori | Ribbons Undone | 4:30 |
| 74 | Amos, Tori | Cars and Guitars | 3:45 |
| 75 | Amos, Tori | Witness | 6:06 |
| 76 | Amos, Tori | Original Sinsuality | 2:02 |
| 77 | Amos, Tori | Ireland | 3:49 |
| 78 | Amos, Tori | The Beekeeper | 6:50 |
| 79 | Amos, Tori | Martha's Foolish Ginger | 4:22 |
| 80 | Amos, Tori | Hoochie Woman | 2:34 |
| 81 | Amos, Tori | Goodbye Pisces | 3:36 |
| 82 | Amos, Tori | Marys of the Sea | 5:11 |
| 83 | Amos, Tori | Toast | 3:42 |
| 84 | New Model Army | Brother | 5:58 |
| 85 | New Model Army | Higher Wall | 4:22 |
| 86 | New Model Army | Flying Through the Smoke | 3:13 |
| 87 | New Model Army | You Weren't There | 3:36 |
| 88 | New Model Army | Orange Tree Roads | 3:56 |
| 89 | New Model Army | Someone Like Jesus | 6:36 |
| 90 | New Model Army | Stranger | 3:35 |
| 91 | New Model Army | R&R | 3:37 |
| 92 | New Model Army | Snelsmore Wood | 4:14 |
| 93 | New Model Army | Paekakariki Beach | 4:43 |
| 94 | New Model Army | Christian Militia | 3:25 |
| 95 | New Model Army | Notice Me | 2:38 |
| 96 | New Model Army | Smalltown England | 3:21 |
| 97 | New Model Army | Vengeance | 4:06 |
| 98 | Ida | Laurel Blues | 4:50 |
| 99 | Ida | 599 | 5:29 |
| 100 | Ida | Late Blues | 5:24 |
| 101 | Ida | Mine | 5:31 |
| 102 | Ida | What Can I Do | 2:57 |
| 103 | Ida | The Details | 4:38 |
| 104 | Ida | Sundown | 6:42 |
| 105 | Ida | Written On My Face | 3:50 |
| 106 | Ida | The Morning | 7:30 |
| 107 | Ida | Forgive | 7:31 |
| 108 | Garnet Crow | 夏の幻 | 3:55 |
| 109 | Tullycraft | Wild Bikini | 2:34 |
| 110 | Trembling Blue Stars | Helen Reddy | 4:25 |
| 111 | Springfield, Rick | Hole In My Heart | 3:12 |
| 112 | September When | When I Drive | 2:18 |
| 113 | Lucksmiths | Moving | 2:51 |
| 114 | Lucksmiths | Transportine | 4:11 |
| 115 | Frames | Revelate | 4:33 |
| 116 | Zeppet Store | INNOCENCE | 3:55 |
| 117 | HIM | Wicked Game (666-Remix) | 3:54 |
| 118 | Amos, Tori | Hey Jupiter | 5:11 |
| 119 | Manic Street Preachers | Solitude Sometimes Is | 3:21 |
| 120 | Siam Shade | 素顔のままで | 4:26 |
| 121 | mcdonald, glenn | Confetti Beams | 3:03 |
| 122 | Keene, Tommy | Disarray | 3:07 |
| 123 | Aberdeen | Emma's House | 3:56 |
| 124 | New Pornographers | The Laws Have Changed | 3:26 |
| 125 | Into Eternity | Beginning Of The End | 4:39 |
| 126 | スピッツ | みそか | 4:37 |
| 127 | Utada Hikaru | Exdous '04 | 4:32 |
| 128 | Frames | Fake | 3:59 |
| 129 | Manda and the Marbles | Upside Down | 3:18 |
| 130 | Low | California | 3:23 |
| 131 | Blue Nile | I Love This Life | 4:04 |
| 132 | Manic Street Preachers | No Jubilees | 3:44 |
| 133 | Wedding Present | Ringway to SEATAC | 2:43 |
| 134 | Ida | Honeyslide | 3:37 |
| 135 | Gackt | 精一杯のサヨナラ | 4:44 |
| 136 | Gackt | Tea Cup | 5:28 |
| 137 | Gackt | Etude | 6:24 |
| 138 | Gackt | ありったけの愛で〜Llv〜 | 5:36 |
| 139 | Gackt | ピース | 4:12 |
| 140 | Gackt | この夜が終わる前に | 4:58 |
| 141 | Gackt | 君に逢いたくて | 5:33 |
| 142 | Gackt | Dears〜LLV〜 | 6:58 |
| 143 | Gackt | サクラソウ | 2:42 |
| 144 | Gackt | Love Letter | 4:55 |
Spitz: Misoka (3.2M mp3)
This week this seems like the quintessential rock song to me. And it's only more quintessential if you don't speak the language.
This week this seems like the quintessential rock song to me. And it's only more quintessential if you don't speak the language.
¶ 8 March 2005
If nothing occurs to you, open the tiniest window to somewhere else.
