| 1 | Violet Orlandi | "Wonderwall" | single | I hate a lot of songs, |
| 2 | Charlotte Wessels | "May It Be" | May It Be +1 | no matter what contrary impression of my positivity you might have garnered |
| 3 | Moonlight Haze | "Never Say Never" | single | from the fact that I usually write about (for some loose sense of "about") songs I like. |
| 4 | Eye of Melian | "Doorway of Night" | Doorway of Night +2 | Deep, enduring, identity-building hatred tends to only develop for popular songs, |
| 5 | Divided Island | "Oxygen" | Oxygen +3 | because without morbid environmental repetition I would just forget them. |
| 6 | Confidential | "Salvation" | single | I am a 54-year-old human who lives in a country bordering the North Atlantic, |
| 7 | Trick or Treat | "Creepy Symphony" | single | and thus I am doomed to hear The Killers' "Mr. Brightside" and Oasis' "Wonderwall" without any explicit consent, |
| 8 | Ghost | "Twenties" | Twenties +2 | frequently and with no apparent hope for respite. |
| 9 | The Lightbringer of Sweden | "Strike Back" | single | I like "Mr. Brightside". Sometimes, when it wafts into my air, I hum along. |
| 10 | Jani Liimatainen | "All Dreams Are Born to Die" | single | If I suddenly never heard it again, I suspect I might eventually choose to play it for myself. |
| 11 | Manigance | "Huis clos" | single | This is not true of "Wonderwall". |
| 12 | IKINÄ | "Tietäjät tietää" | single | If forgetting were a muscle, I would want to know if there were steroids that could give me super-human power |
| 13 | Answer from Cygnus | "Les échos endolorants" | Cygnus | for the sole forgetting power of forgetting "Wonderwall". |
| 14 | Voutsa | "Paperinuket" | single | I would flex it by forgetting every individual element of this miserable song: |
| 15 | AINA | "Rauhanrikkoja" | single | The plodding rhythm, |
| 16 | Where's My Bible | "Chapter II: Void" | single | the gracelessly uninventive vocal melodies, |
| 17 | Septicflesh | "Hierophant" | single | Liam's terrible bleating delivery of the terrible melodies, |
| 18 | Answer from Cygnus | "L'instant" | Cygnus | the dreary cliches he delivers with such terrible bleating, |
| 19 | Lucifer's Child | "Nova Tenebris" | single | the unbearably smugly lazy playing of all the conventional rock instruments, |
| 20 | Watain | "Serimosa" | Serimosa +1 | the sighing faux-dramatic strings like a cartoon of an orchestra |
| 21 | Lord Belial | "On a Throne of Souls" | single | was shoddily silkscreened on the outside of a balloon that was then desultorily inflated |
| 22 | Brundarkh | "The Dark Tree" | single | and almost sealed so that it deflates with a pathetic exhalatory whimper over the course of 4 interminable minutes. |
| 23 | Abbath | "The Book of Breath" | single | If there is such a thing as an irredeemably dull rock song, |
| 24 | Drudkh | "The Nocturnal One" | single | this must be surely be it. |
| 25 | Unru | "Der Hauch einer Freiheit" | Die Wiederkehr des Verdrängten | If there is a song that represents eating a steak covered with cheap ketchup |
| 26 | A Tergo Lupi | "Kominn Heim" | single | in order to maximize the ratio of emitted methane to physical enjoyment, this is it. |
| 27 | Answer from Cygnus | "Afflictions" | Cygnus | If there is a song that over-simplistically represents Rock Songs like a square with a triangle on top of it |
| 28 | Sylvaine | "I Close My Eyes so I Can See" | Nova | filled with asbestos and bedbugs represents Houses, this is it. |
| 29 | Emma Ruth Rundle | "Pump Organ Song" | single | If you love any other song that anybody ever says is bad, this is the song to remind you |
| 30 | The Weather Station | "Marsh" | How Is It That I Should Look At The Stars | that even if they're right, your bad song isn't as bad as this massively and perpetually popular bad song. |
| 31 | Annicke Shireen | "Prey" | single | Meanwhile, Violet Orlandi makes metal covers of, usually, non-metal songs. |
| 32 | KAIRA | "Ночь Сварога" | single | There's a small industry of this, which I support both enthusiastically and industriously, |
| 33 | OCTAVIAGRACE | "Aurally lover" | single | and several of my favorite practitioners (like Orlandi, Lauren Babic, Halocene, First to Eleven and Melodicka Brothers) have collaborated in pairs and groups. |
| 34 | BiSH | "愛してると言ってくれ" | 愛してると言ってくれ +1 | Orlandi has already done many other covers I've loved of songs I also loved in the original (most recently Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah"), |
| 35 | zenbukiminoseida. | "Roman Jihen" | Roman Jihen +1 | and several others I've loved despite not having strong feelings about the original (most recently Death Cab for Cutie's "I Will Follow You Into the Dark"). |
| 36 | MAD JAMIE | "BUREIKŌ" | single | I often compile aspirationally-comprehensive playlists of covers of particular popular songs, |
| 37 | mahina | "Drive your dreams" | single | and thus I am painfully aware that there's also a shadow industry of cynically horrific style-transposed covers |
| 38 | kobore | "Tender" | single | of any normal song (and what could be more numbingly normal than "Wonderwall"?) |
| 39 | PELICAN FANCLUB | "Astro Girl" | 解放のヒント | into music-box twinkle, mock-modern-classical pseudo-dignity, suburban-Starbucks open-mic-brunch plaint, perky collegiate a cappella, having your head cheerfully ground to a pulp by a malfunctioning treadmill, or getting it stuck in the back of an old arcade console while trying to reach a piece of only-slightly-prechewed gum. |
| 40 | mol-74 | "Halation" | OOORDER | There is no song, even "Wonderwall", that can't be made even duller. |
| 41 | KAMI WA SAIKORO WO FURANAI | "LOVE" | 事象の地平線 | I have not actually been in the habit of meticulously scoring each pair of covers and originals, |
| 42 | Xmas Eileen | "TRAINING DAY" | single | so I say the following with no statistical grounding at all, but still: |
| 43 | ASH DA HERO | "Remember" | single | Violet Orlandi singing "Wonderwall" seems overwhelmingly likely to be the cover with the biggest positive gap between how much I like it and how much I liked the original, |
| 44 | Fangoria | "La pregunta del millón" | Edificaciones Paganas 5 | and fairly likely to be the one with the largest absolute difference between the two, as well. |
| 45 | Ultraboss | "Where the People Dance" | Yachtmaster | I will celebrate the existence of all the worse covers |
| 46 | 10eighty6 | "Dreamless" | single | if the universe requires them to exist for this one to exist. |
| 47 | Letting Up Despite Great Faults | "Self-Portrait" | IV | It's still the same song, essentially, existentially, |
| 48 | CLEWS | "Lean Across" | single | but Orlandi and producer Joey Izzo approach it with this ingenious hypothetical in their earnestly outstretched hands: |
| 49 | Belle and Sebastian | "Unnecessary Drama" | single | what if this song just didn't suck? |
| 50 | LÉON | "All My Heroes" | Circles | What if it were magnificent? |
| 51 | POLIÇA | "Rotting" | single | What if, instead of plodding along, |
| 52 | Charlotte Sands | "Lost" | single | it marched with a hitch-step double-bass menace into crash-cymbal fusillades? |
| 53 | Jillian Rossi | "Gemini" | single | What if the guitars were played with pinging arpeggios, |
| 54 | Dasha | "FUCK YOU" | single | instead of strummed with a ketchup-covered steak impaled on a weary retired (and never particularly successful) pirate's hook-for-a-hand? |
| 55 | Leah Sykes | "All The Cool Kids Get High" | single | What if the vocal melodies wove around their assigned notes like a seditious ballet of asps? |
| 56 | Stand Atlantic | "hair out" | hair out +3 | What if Violet Orlandi sang it, instead of Liam Gallagher? |
| 57 | The Linda Lindas | "Talking To Myself" | Talking To Myself +1 | What if it sounded like dawn rising or night falling |
| 58 | Boh Doran | "Some People" | single | or galaxies unspiraling |
| 59 | Blanca Vergara | "27 Días" | single | instead of a joke-balloon half-heartedly attempting to stifle its own flatulent expiration? |
| 60 | Nilüfer Yanya | "the dealer" | PAINLESS | They didn't make it any shorter, and the words themselves haven't gotten any less simplistic, |
| 61 | Rivilin | "Nether" | Azure Rain | but it turns out I don't care. |
| 62 | Wiley | "Jewellery Gone Upstairs" | single | What if "Maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me" wasn't an implicit declaration of apathy, |
| 63 | Soul Glo | "Driponomics" | Driponomics +1 | but an admission of intrinsic human potential? |
| 64 | Bartees Strange | "Heavy Heart" | Heavy Heart +1 | The transformational truth about love is that we save each other by being willing to, |
| 65 | Michael Cassidy | "I Am Free" | single | not by having any kind of unprecedented or irreplicable power. |
| 66 | Wrest | "Kingdom" | End All The Days | None of this version's elements are individually unbelievable, |
| 67 | Prince Kaybee | "Breakfast In Soweto" | single | and between the day it came out and this day when I'm writing about it, Violet has already efficiently moved on to her next cover, |
| 68 | Sebastian Yatra | "Érase Una Vez (Pero Ya No)" | single | a re-setting I initially like less of a song I very definitely like more. |
| 69 | K!ngdom | "Rituales Raros" | single | We don't save each other by being perfect, |
| 70 | Finde Fantasma | "Siempre Mal" | Intramuros | we do it by being there, or here, or wherever we find ourselves. |
| 71 | Maraton | "Perdurant Lives" | single | We do it by believing that anything, a song or a moment or a day, |
| 72 | Cold Night For Alligators | "Dusty Patterns" | The Hindsight Notes | can justify living long enough to experience it. |
| 73 | Hereafter | "All We Have is Now" | single | We do it by not giving up, even if today was going to be the day but didn't turn out to be. |
| 74 | Marillion | "Care (Iv) Angels on Earth" | An Hour Before It's Dark | And then, even when we think we've done enough to fill a week, or a life, |
| 75 | Robyn | "Buffalo Stance" | single | we sing 73 other songs, new and weird and terrified and incensed, until we come back to something we thought we already knew, |
| 76 | Mzansi Youth Choir | "Fight Song" | single | only to find that it and we have become something else, sometimes better than we could have imagined but sometimes it's not clear |
| 77 | Phyllomedusa | "No Love For Human Music" | Wretching At The Sight Of The Pregnant | yet, and won't ever be if we don't come back tomorrow to listen again. |