Stand still for twenty seconds in Bali, looking foreign and anything, and somebody will not only offer to give you directions, but will plead to be hired out to drive you there. Actually, you don't have to stand still, or wait that long. "Transport?" serves dual function as offer and greeting, and more than once we turn down plaintive entreaties in mid-motion climbing out of our own rented car. "Where are you going?", we are asked every ten steps. "Where are you going?", our friend Jonathan takes to gleefully countering, which (or possibly his manic expression, or possibly just his long hair) makes everybody laugh. But the truth is, they aren't going anywhere, and we aren't staying long.